American Royalty

Show the Clintons some mercy!

What can I say about our venerated former President and almost President, Bill and Hillary Clinton? The reputations of these paragons of moral virtue and humble civil service are without blemish. Now, we know that Bill flew to Epstein’s Island 26 times, but everyone deserves a Holiday in the tropics! Yes, they may have accrued hundreds of millions of dollars through their foundation shenanigns and yeah, a lot women have filed sexual assault charges against Bill, but we can’t believe all women, can we?

It may seem like dozens of people in their circle have died under mysterious circumstances, (some while on the way to testify against them) but it is definitely possible to shoot yourself twice in the back of the head. Try it for yourself!

Now, The Evil Orange Man is attempting to haul them into Congress because he is a dictator who wants revenge! Yes, Republicans and Democrats on the Federal Law Enforcement Subcommittee unanimously approved to issue subpoenas to Bill & Hill for testimony about the crimes of their buddy Epstein, but they refused and are in contempt of Congress. Come on, this is elder abuse! These are American Icons!

Above reproach. We should have contempt for Congress when it tries to evenly enforce the law! Is this something new? I mean, the Clintons committed felonies and war crimes for decades and no one seemed to care. So what if they killed or bribed or blackmailed the traitors who attempted to bring them to justice? Does Congress want to force them to come out of retirement? If it wasn’t for that damn blue dress, they could have just whacked the pepper-pot and moved on.

Please have some compassion. They just want to fade away into the golden sunset of their triumphant record of selfless public service. Please have mercy on these, our most highly esteemed and beloved American Royalty.

* I have no intention of killing myself anytime soon.