Lighten Up?
Staring into the abyss is not for wimps.
I stare into the abyss until the abyss reveals its truth to me. The abyss demands a piece of you in this exchange. Bite by bite, the abyss eats the light within you. The darker and deeper you venture, the higher the admission fee.
Nietzsche famously warned of the cost. I am aware of the Faustian bargain I have made, but maybe not fully aware of the price I am paying.
Investigative journalist, Editor-in-Chief at UncoverDC and contributing author at The Highwire, Tracy Beanz brought this to my attention with the following note referencing my post about the slaughter of Iranian schoolgirls:
“I’ve been sitting with something I want to tell you, but I want to make sure you don’t feel its criticism, because I think what I am feeling comes from the same space as what you are.
I don’t think that those children need our suffering on their behalf. What happened to them is real and the evil behind it is real, but, I’ve had to ask myself whether absorbing that darkness actually serves them or anyone. Could it just be adding gravitas to a frequency that we clearly don’t typically resonate with, amplifying the very thing that we wish to see disappear? Lord knows I have spent many a year weeping inside of all sorts of shit. But what did I *add* to the universe through that sadness and despair? What did I offer other than more of what made me feel negative in the first place?
It may sound “woo-woo” (whatever that means anymore) or crazy, but the children themselves may be freer than we are right now, watching us carry what they’ve already put down.
If we want to see peace, I don’t think we get there by fully embodying the horror. Empathy and compassion are so important – but we may be overpaying the debt. I think we get there by being (stubbornly and persistently) the thing we want more of. It isn’t bypassing. It’s consciously choosing where we put our focus, intention, energy.
Your work clearly comes from love. I just want to make sure the love doesn’t cost you more than it should – especially since you are such a powerful beacon for those seeking a lighthouse. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Some of us came with a louder instrument than others. We do so much good when we filter and clear the negative from our own vibration, and then raise collectively. “Be the change” they say… Lots of study, LOTS of self work over the past few decades, and intense meditative practice have all lead me to a place where this is what I believe.”
Thank you again.
Tracy Beanz
Thank YOU, Tracy.
You can see Tracys news website here:
I am trying to say this with kindness and respect buyt it might come off as a bit strong...
1. We are not suffering on their behalf, we are suffering out of empathy and being repulsed by needless horrible loss by innocents. It is our reaction because we cannot abide the evil of it and want a better world.
2. We are not absorbing nor are we amplifying the darkness we are shining light for those suffering in man-made hell to beat the darkness into the cave where it belongs.
3.We are *adding* to the universe by weeping for the slain so that they know they were loved and not abandoned by a world that never cared. That is what you can offer little girls who's potential was destroyed, who won't find love, or have kids or become the wise ones they might have been. Instead of negativity you can offer the connection of care and of the tiger's howl for the protection of innocents.
Anthony, I so appreciate you sharing Tracy's letter. I think what we all need to understand is that the world is filled with people who differ widely in how much they can take in through their senses. There are souls who came into this world equipped to be the warriors, going into dark corners and battling to rid the world of evil. People who don't need to look away. They work in emergency rooms and put themselves in harm's way by rushing into disaster areas head-on.
And then there are souls who are highly sensitive and walk a different path. I am of the latter. I used to feel guilty that I couldn't look at or hear details about the latest tragedy in the world without literally getting sick from the darkness of it all. I don't bury my head in the sand; I know what is going on out there, but I will not look at or listen to the details. At age 72, I (unfortunately) can still bring to mind images that I wish I'd never seen. Someone with a different nervous system might not understand how this can be.
In no way am I saying that this information should be hidden. We are living in a time of disclosure, and that is a very good thing. How we handle the information is another matter.
Tracy's perspective is very much a shamanic one. And I am so grateful for her having the courage to share her wise words. And to you, Anthony, for sharing them with us.